i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
