PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
