Dual....:-)
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize