Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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