Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
