I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize