who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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