wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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