at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
