Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
