Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
