That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
