Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.