Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
