NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How's work?
Spinning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
