Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
