3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
