Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
