I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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