Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
