This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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