were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
