SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
