There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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