You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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