they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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