So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i love accidental penises.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my being single is dangerous.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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