i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
