and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
