Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
