As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
