Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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