You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
