4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
