Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Shame is for Republicans.
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