I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
