Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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