His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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