What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't put those talents on a resume
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
