so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
