Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
