she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
