I must be too annoying 4 u.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I deserve this hangover.
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