right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
