one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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