And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am spending my child support on dildos
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
