Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
