In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
