Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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