My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
