It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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