Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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