The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
only you would photoshop your dick
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
