on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
