How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
