I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize