wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
