How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
