i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
