the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
