he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
